You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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