The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
