He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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