what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
