Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
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your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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