okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
