my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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