U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
