Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
