Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
