i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
