Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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