she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
