The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
