i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
