I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
