Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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