Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
