wake up i wanna do it froggy style
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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