Nicole vs. Life
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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