i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
