just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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