I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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