yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
