your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
