dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
