He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
