Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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