I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
