I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
