Can i not drive my cunt home
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
