awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
