Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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