It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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