He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
