yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
