i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
