Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
