Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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