new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
