i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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