When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
