using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
