If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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