the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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