They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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