Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
