Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can I color on your dick again?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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