Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude i'm inner monologue high
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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