guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize