My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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