Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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