Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
