I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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