Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
