i think my tv is drunk
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
