one two three fourrrrnication!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
