well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
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Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.