Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize