He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
