Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
