I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
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The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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