i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
