..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
