He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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