lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
