YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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