Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
