Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
