yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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